You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake

I myself spent nine years in an insane asylum and I never had the obsession of suicide, but I know that each conversation with a psychiatrist, every morning at the time of his visit, made me want to hang myself, realizing that I would not be able to cut his throat. Antonin Artaud

You are insane.  The current “rise” in mental illnesses is itself a new industry.  Increasing numbers are diagnosed with mental conditions.  It is a national emergency.  There is a rise in mental illnesses in children, we are told.  There is an epidemic of disturbed minds and the mental issues that used to trouble white girls in college in the 1950s now trouble our two year olds – they madly swing from screaming and crying to laughing just by looking at a toy or some adult who has momentarily covered his face.  Your boy is too assertive.  Your boy is too passive.  You may have had a condition that was just uncovered.  The more Central European names hyphenated or otherwise crashed together, the more fatal your condition, the more socially awkward, unaware, and doomed to financial and sexual failure you are.  Your condition must be treated, as soon as possible, if you bought the insurance to cover it.  You are on the Badden-Badden-Baader Meinhof Spectrum.  Your condition explains those strange things you do.  Your condition must be addressed by special schools and support groups and tones of medication.  You must have specialists assigned to your case…. The last Bourgeois Specialists of our age. 

In Tsarist Russia, they had a problem with an illness of wandering sickness.  Former serfs (emancipated 1861) would just get up one day, and leave their land (serf/slave was owned with the land unlike American slavery where the human was considered mobile property).  They had an issue with people who mutilated their genitals and cut their own bodies in some trance-like ecstasy that would make any small village Holy Fool dumbfound and embarrassed that they only thought to wear in icy chains and a hair shirt.  In The SOVIET Union a citizen could get “вялотекущая шизофрения” or sluggish progressive schizophrenia, a condition where slowly, you started to think you were being lied to and tricked by the system around you.  You started to believe that all those officials eating sausage while you ate paint flakes may not be working on socialism nor building communism.  The industrial age of England invented the serial killer, a machine murderer who completed the same actions of mechanical disembowelment with precision and technical expertise.  The German student of the late 19th century grew morose and often floated above himself or could only see himself as a character in some drama culminating in the shamanistic writings of the dream catcher Freud. 

There were also moments where madmen expressed the political sentiments of the age.  The 1910s had anarchists and communists tossing bombs into the coaches of noblemen in Old Europe and robbing banks and murdering small town officials or federal agents in the New America.  The 1960s had high level assassinations of key figures, all by deranged figures.   The 1970s had mass cult suicides and many smaller less publicized events.  In the 1960s and 1970s riots happened at the drop of a hat.  Looting was elevated to political participation as if taking a Magnavox Micromatic Console really stuck it to “The Man.”  Old Europe of the 1960s, the student protests were an expression of social illness, a collective freak out.  Leftist lunatics shot, bombed, and murdered with gusto.  The IRA turned the already ugly town of Londonderry/Derry into a maze of apartheid walls that would make any Palestinian feel at home.   Insane political figures found communists under every rock in the United States.  Insane scientists worked day and night to build bombs that continued the exponential factor of such-and-such times more than TNT.  We keep a standing army consuming the world’s resources and our tax monies while reacting with horror to the thought of one “welfare queen” getting a few hundred dollars or eating take out once a month.  We respond to 19 insane foreigners, of which a handful allegedly flew two airplanes into the twin Towers, by opening up two enormous war fronts, one of which was started build on obvious lies and deception.  Obvious deceptions documented through official sources out in the public view as it is uncovered by groups such as Wikileaks.

Then there is Jared.

Those calling Jared a pimple bursting on the pockmarked face of the body politic are correct.  This eruption however, his as much an expression of a personal mental illness as it is an expression of our social mental illness.  The buboes pimple.   One spot of plague.  This spot isn’t caused by the ire of radio talk show hosts or the inability of American discourse to rise above a shouting match in the Main Stream Media, but an expression of a society where killing and mental illness are what is holding our nation together.  We all need therapy.  We all need to know our bombs are being built, the guns stockpiled.  Our social contract is broken, and The Crazy is here to fix it.

We need The Crazy because we cannot afford to resist with our bodies.  To do that would be crazy.  We know we will be arrested if we put ourselves physically in the way of the corporate war machine… we will lose a few days at work, our job, get behind on student loans…..  We know don’t have the mental capacity to research economic trends or understand mathematical financial models.  We know we don’t have the time to learn if the gold obsessed “sovereign citizens” are a group of loonie toons missing out on their Welbutron or if the Captains of Industry at Goldman Sachs actually own people as chattel and should be strung up by the nearest lamp posts so we can claim our deposit money as if we’re all human soda bottles.  We know we cannot know if Glenn Beck and Palin’s fear mongering and cross hair drawing influenced a deranged native terrorist or if the increasing list of right-wing incidents is increasing due to racism, sexism, or a large-scale social freakout timed for May 21, 2012….  because those Mayans… dude… they totally were in tune with shit…..  We know we cannot know, yet we retreat into our private personal madness as we focus on stupidity, discussing inane natterings of celebrity, vitamin supplements, or inventing myths of government conspiracy or believing a drum circle’s rhythm will realign cosmic harmony.

What we do know, we refuse to talk about.  We do know the insane policies of a military industrial complex has enriched the Republicrats and corporations.  We do know the Old Guard confederacy of “Progressives” has cock-blocked the anti-war movement since tossing it under the bus in 1994.  We do know “Progressives” have allowed the anti-war movement to dwindle under the yoke of frustration, and been silent as organizations are harassed and threatened by the powers vested in the state – the FBI and Department of Homeland Security.  We do know our state security appartus is obsessed over grannies wearing pink or college students holding up dusty “The World Says No To War” signs while missing the warning signs of a mentally unstable kiddo who – under the laws of the state and through no illegal action – was able to go down to his local Five & Dime and get a very cool semi-automatic rifle in which to gun down an elected official.   We do know the MSM finds difficult to describe this event as an “assassination attempt” since only third world leaders are assassinated.  We say Jared slipped through the cracks because no one was able to piece together the puzzle – the same way our officials could not read the memo, “Bid laden Determined to Attack The United States” because to consider that our billions of dollars in security are useless… that’s crazy.

Among the dead was a little girl, who has been held up by the media like Samantha Smith from the early 1980s. A little beacon of light.   We have now learned from the MSM about how her classmates have nightmares, how she was born on the sacred day of 9/11/2001, how well she was doing in school. We will consider every aspect of who killed this girl.

We will discuss media, music, and popular culture.  However, the discourse of talking heads on TeeVee did not kill this girl.  Rush, Beck, Sara, Wolf, Murrow, did not kill her.  The Second Amendment did not kill her.  Our militaristic society did not kill her.  Police with Uzis did not kill her. Grumman and Dunlop and Bowing, Xe did not kill her.  Our videogame Culture of Death that turns cities into play maps and fighting into skill levels did not kill her. 

Jared killed her. 

A simple kid pulled the trigger and killed her.  We can never know “why” he killed her. 

We can only know what we can prove.  However, we can’t face the things we know or can prove.  We could never prove weapons of mass distruction.  we could never prove that people hate our freedom.  We do not know unless someone writes it down, why a person does what they do.  And even then, we often rather believe what we don’t know.  We know we have killed a great many little girls.  We don’t discuss them.  We can prove our Internet providers block those images.  We can prove small children are dead today because we killed them with bombs we made.  Girls in Iraq, Afghanistan, and smaller locals where our society projects our military force.  We all have PTSDs, ADD, ADHD, and so many other blossoming conditions because we are unhappy and have replaced normal thought – with The Crazy (AKA The Cray Cray).  We dare not face that we are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.  Chewing our hotdogs, with full bellies of nitrates and preservatives, we ponder how we need to contribute to our 401K believing we will make our investments pay and we are each masters of business.  We believe that deficits can be reduced and keep spending.  We believe or invent all sorts of complex myths to cover over simple truths.   We have willfully forgotten or never learned that statistics does not validate causality nor that just because a great many people believe something does not make it true.  To us, believing that 90% of Tea Party members use military or war metaphors rather than sports metaphors to describe politics…. so therefore Jared is a Tea Party activist… and Glenn Beck killed that little girl… that’s sane.  The government, those same people who have trouble making licence plates, can conduct vast consipricies and according to complex formulas that make bundled assets seem simple.  That’s sane.  Oil is something we get at the gas station and has nothing to do with the wars we wage.  That’s sane.  We toss and turn at night.  The guilty cannot sleep, as we dream only in illogical syllogisms.

On the surface our society appears sane.  On the surface things look normal.  Gas prices are again going up, but analysts tell us it will be soon going down in time for the Happy Motoring Season of Summer.  Our economy is recovering we are told, but perhaps another set of employment numbers may be grim because of holiday season hiring has ended or some seasonal jobs are gone.  The banks never falsified mortgages and the laws of ownership remain as they were, at least for the corporate persons.  We are told that guns are here to stay in our society and our wars are needed and must be endless.   On the surface a little is trimmed from our rights here and there in order to keep us safe.  Our wages and benefits are trimmed just a little in order to make us competitive.  The talking heads will no longer shout.  There will be a lot of soul-searching.  The Republicrats will be friendly as one side defunds what the other side has dragged its feet doing.  The mall parking lots will fill and empty.  We wonder what video game influenced Jared.  Because all these things to us are sane.

Tonight, tomorrow, or some short time from now, a family will gather in the garden of an ancient adobe compound to celebrate some occasion – only to be obliterated by an American made ordinance guided by voices from thousands of miles away.  To consider this….  That is insanity.

Never believe straight off in a man’s unhappiness.  Ask him if he can still sleep.  If the answer is “yes, all’s well.  That’s enough. Celine

One thought on “You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake

  1. Wonderful description of the world as we know it.

    Only pity, those who have known about these things never ever seem to have had influence of the kind needed to end insanity.

    Possibly mankind is insane by evolution?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s