Capitalism: A Love Story – kinda’ review

If you are the type of person that Michael Moore appeals to then you are part of the problem, not the solution.  You partake in the system – knowing you are partaking in the system, but do so anyway since your student loans morphed into so many other ties to Americapitalism. 

You will see Moore’s film to fulfill the fantasy that you are a secret agent infecting “the man” and in your off time, you talk about totally making some revolutionary art and your would wear hemp something if only that thing came in your size.  Moore’s smug liberal intelectual-wrapped-in-prol manner and storytelling is the kind of thing  you consume like an heiress vacuums cocaine.  Hard hitting documentaries are exactly what you want to watch as an appetizer right before your nightly repast at a local bistro feasting on rare cheese, cured meats, and fine wine from France, France.  Not… that there is anything wrong with that…. The problem with this film, as with all these neo-docs,  is that Moore appeals to the educated who know everything Moore will say, knows capitalism is rotten, studied the violence inherit in the system, understand the kleptocracy we live in, but are the least likely to do anything about it. 

We, the proud, the few, the educated, partake daily in the contradictions of Americapitalism and use a lot of ” ” (quote unquote quotes) when we talk – thinking we can be both the person with the degree and good job on or near Wall Street and still be Der Werker’s Frienden.  If this half-banker half-social worker is you – righty tighty lefty loosie (to borrow from a plumbing term) – this film will glide down your intellectual pie hole like sugar pie melting into the fat folds of a fat man who is inexplicably resting a sugar pie on his naked stomach while he lies out in the sun.  For the prols who need to understand how much Americapitalism is screwing them… this film won’t be like anything since this film won’t be watched.  Poor people want to consume are filled with sugar and cum and pop in their mouths leaving them wanting more.  If you take it upon yourself to talk to them about Moore or how they are getting screwed by Americapitalism,  poor people will tear you apart, bury you in plastic bags and poop on your grave while watching Big Brother or Stars Can Dance or Who Wants to Be A Death Camp Inmate.

So here is the problem.  People like you who want to or already have seen the film understand it because you are plugged into the system – so you won’t do anything radical to change it.  People who need to see the film won’t and also won’t do anything to change the channel from reruns of Friends let alone do anything radical to change the system.  The people out there trying to change the system are so unplugged from everyone else they either are weirdos or come off as smelly hippies….  For the most part street  protestors just wish 1968 would come home and stay here and make us cookies… or street protestors are employed to keep the cops on the street.  Nothing more dangerous than unemployed cop-types, eh?  I digress….

Herein lies an issue about the nature of poor people in the United States and the success of the system.  Seventy years of Americapitalism has removed, neigh sir, lobotomized the former working class removing their class conciousness and “working class values.”  They have replaced these with Think And Grow Rich sentiments and these poor people all think they can trick the system into giving them millions of something like dollars, hookers, or Smurf Sit-N-Spins.  The Neo-Poor are not passive in their being screwed, they are active.  They work hard every day against their best interests and fight even harder when those cheese-eating-surender-monkies (the intellectual left) attempt to wake them up from their slumber….  and this this is the passe leftish who think they can still fix Dersystem not the Doomsters who educate on Peak Oil, Die Off, and all things “wonderful” like The Change…. 

What Moore lacks in story telling or creating a powerful documentary is not even on the table to discuss.  The film is somewhat a stitched together number of 60 Minutes segments blended with rock-n-roll jump cuts and a hoorah ending made even more hoorah by some clever usages of 1950s films we have all seen in every left leaning film as the butt of jokes and irony since… well, the 1950s (Mad Magazine was started to lampoon the dismal state of American advertising and that was started in the 1950s so it seemed some people knew even then what stupid looked like).  Moore’s message of action – however tacked on – will be brushed aside by those who need to start questioning our system and learn that the “change” we see is not the change we need.  For those of us who have seen it, Moore is a funny cocktail story for the rest of us who have seen it.  Oh hoho ho ho Dave from Billing, and Betty that intern from a moderately good university, he was like ridding this armored car… this armored car up and down the streets ho ho ho ho.

Our system, the fundamentals, are corrupt, and downright wrong.  We cannot have our Americapitalism and environmentalism, democracy, or even work towards creating that “better world” centuries of folks have been aspiring to bring either on this world or in the “next.” 

Schwerpunkters, you can spend $12 to see Moore or spend $5 on a mini DV tape and $6 on lunch and coffee.  Make a film that really challenges Americapitalism and breaks through to consider not old fashioned Werkerrights, but new forms of exchange and living….

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